Now here I sit in Texas.

I love it here.

The people are really nice.

It’s hot.

The roads are busier.

I’m in territory un-chartered by me.

I sit at home and think of all the things I could be out doing in the world. There are so many things to see and do. I can’t possibly do it all. I don’t ever remember thinking this way about Pennsylvania.It‘s only April and yet I went to Dot and Winston‘s to swim the other night. It was hot. We swirled around the pool talking about our houses, our jobs, our new lives. The inevitable happened. The talk subsided and we pondered our life choice silently. We looked to each other and smiled, leaned back against the side of the pool and said, “I’m so happy we moved to Texas.” Sometimes I feel guilty for saying it but it’s true.I can’t put my finger on the reason why I’m happy.

In general, I’m a happy person. There isn’t much in this world that brings me down. I live my life without regret and know that I am lucky to be alive. Life is too short to be sour and angry or sad. Those who know me know that my father passed away three years ago - to this day I can sometimes find myself down and out and all I do is think of his huge grin, his booming laughter or a joke he used to tell and it lifts my spirits. I think of all the happiness he brought to people by just being him and I know that I want people to remember me that way as well.

People ask me if I’m lonely or sad being on my own. I don’t know why but this week has been particularly hard. I’ve been missing my family and I’ve been missing “home.” I haven’t gotten weepy or sad but I do feel a tug in my heart when I think of people. But I don’t think I made a wrong choice; I’m glad I’m here. For 12 years I bounced around from house to house and roommate to roommate without a thing of my own. I am forever indebted to those who took me in and made me a part of their lives but I needed to be on my own. I needed something for me. I needed this life. So I’m happy to be on my own.